Have you read Ascension Point? You have!? That’s great! I wrote you this letter…
Thank you so much for buying a copy of my debut novel, Ascension Point. I hope you enjoyed it. If you were here, I’d high-five you, and then we’d have a beer. Maybe a snack. I’ve got some nice cheese in the fridge.
I’m writing to you today to ask for your help in addressing a shocking issue that’s afflicting one in every one science fiction authors in my immediate area: Ascension Point‘s chronic shortage of Amazon.com customer reviews.
As you may or may not be aware, Amazon.com reviews have comparable value to these items:
- Uncut diamonds
- Gold dust
- Enriched plutonium
While Ascension Point has sold well, and received a small number of (very positive) reviews, my in-depth calculations regarding its sale-to-customer-review ratio have determined that this many readers go on to leave a review:
11 / 500 = HARDLY ANY
This debilitating shortage of customer reviews is the leading cause of at least one of the following conditions:
- Global warming
- The rise of militant fundamentalism
- Teen obesity
- Me not being able to run a BookBub promotion
But it’s not too late. With your help, we can address at least one of these issues. (Probably the last one.) It only takes a minute, and costs you ZERO DOLLARS.
(Although while you’re there, if you decided to buy a copy of Venus Rising as well, that’d be cool.)
Here are some examples of the reviews that could go a long way to addressing this terrible problem.
‘Ascension Point was a super-fun read. Dan Harris is clearly the new Joe Haldeman, except with less scientific rigour or Vietnam War allegory.’ *****
‘Even though I bought Ascension Point in ebook format, I made the effort to find a way to print it out in its entirety, just so I could shred it and use it as bedding for my seventeen diarrhea-afflicted guinea pigs. That’s how bad it is. But then the author asked me to leave a review, so here I am.’ *
You see how easy it is? Even one word, and a pseudo-random selection of a value from one to five counts as a review!
That’s all I ask. Help me help you help me, and together we can guarantee that I’ll write another post exactly like this next year. You can leave a review here.